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Pray or be prey!

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is the cure to anger that cannot be properly or otherwise expressed. Forgiveness is giving up the right to revenge. We have a right to revenge according to Old Testament rules. When you have been hurt, a way to stop the hurt must be found. The Old Testament rule was to keep you from getting hurt by setting the consequences so high that doing harm to others would not be worth it. Forgiveness will not change the past. However, it will unlock the future so that you can go on and live the way God intended you to live.

• The greatest act that people can take is Forgiveness. Consider forgiveness as taking on the effect of the harm done by the other person in the relationship and not holding that against them.  For people to truly forgive is impossible without the power of God. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart but not just a feeling. Forgiveness can and usually does bring good feelings. Forgiveness is not just thinking about someone but it does involve the mind’s ability to commit to a process. Forgiveness is an all encompassing, willful act by someone who has been wronged. According to Old Testament laws, an eye for an eye is not only acceptable, but condoned as the way to curtail unrighteous acts. However, Jesus came along and added forgiveness to the list of things that are an indication of the righteousness of God working in us. In Matthew 18:35 Jesus says we must freely forgive for our Heavenly Father to forgive us. Certainly, God does forgive freely. Our forgiveness must come freely from the heart. No lip service will suffice. God and you both know what you intend and how much you truly forgive. This sounds easy in concept. It is work. Sometimes, it is hard work. Sometimes the hard work continues for years.

• The Old Testament promoted getting even. God shows no expectance that humans will forgive on their own in the front of The Book. Many examples of God’s forgiveness and the righteousness follow, but not of humans doing the forgiving. Then Jesus came into our history and the demand for forgiveness was given birth on earth. In teaching the "Lord’s Prayer," Jesus says something that performance minded people will like to observe. Throughout the New Testament the admonitions abound that ". . . it is by grace . . . " and that God has the only supply on grace. Nevertheless, Jesus said, in His example of how to pray, that He will forgive as we (in the manner we) forgive. We must forgive to be forgiven. A contingent action laid out by Christ Himself (Matthew 6:12). (This is not the only contingent action spoken of in the scriptures.) This is so important that Jesus stops to make a special emphasis on the point of forgiveness. In Matthew 6:14&15 he stresses that if we do not forgive we will not be forgiven. If we do forgive, we will be forgiven. Simple! Not easy! Now Jesus has made a performance-based action on our part that will control the actions of the omnipotent and sovereign God. How can this be? We cannot freely forgive from the heart without the love of God in our hearts. He knows we are powerless to forgive without Him. He has tied our survival to Himself and His ability to forgive completely - yes, perfectly.

• We have the right to get even. We have been wronged. Why take away our old right to get even with revenge? We do not stop at vengeance. We want "re-vengeance." In other words, getting vengeance over and over until vengeance satisfies us that the other person has gotten the message clearly that we are in or have been in great pain and we want their actions that cause pain to stop. Our pattern is way off the mark of perfection because we cannot accurately judge the heart of another. God uses vengeance to change hearts. We use "re-vengeance" to change hearts as well. We just overdo things because we are fallen creatures in a fallen world. God is way above this problem we experience. " Vengeance is mine, I will recompense, . . . ," is God’s word on getting even in Deuteronomy 32:35. Who are we that we would try to be God? Not much. "See now that I, I am He, and there is no god beside Me; I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal; and there is none who can deliver out of My hand." (Deuteronomy 32:39) We are no match for God and we need to live that way. Forgiveness is His gift to us. Both to set us free and to set others free. "Forgiveness - Key to Healing" will help you see what forgiveness is and what it is not.

• In Psalm 32, David gives a wonderful example for forgiving. We need to acknowledge (confess) our sins. We need forgiveness. By acknowledging our sins, we accept that we are not perfect. Since we are not perfect, we need help. We need the help that only God can provide for the issues of life. Our sin dries our bones (the structure we live upon, purposefulness) to a point that we are unable to go on with life. God is relentless in having us acknowledge our sins and our sinful nature. God’s forgiveness is immediate upon confessing before him with a heart bent upon restoration. Psalm 32 is all about restoration. If we apply the principles in this Psalm to the activities in our relationships, we will be operating with a new and renewed level of communication. Consistent communication leads to trust and trust to intimacy and intimacy to vulnerability and vulnerability to unconditional love and acceptance (CTIVULA). By confessing our sins against each other to each other, we have the opportunity to be forgiven. When others confess their sins against us, we have the opportunity to behave like God and forgive them. How often we want to be like God, to exude power that is omnipotent. We can when we forgive.

• We desire the freedom to be. We want to say, "I am!" If "I am," then no one can make me different. When we do not forgive, we are usually waiting to change someone else from their "I am" status. We want to behave like God. This requires great control because changing people is like holding Jell-O in your hand. After all the work and worry, we end with sticky stained fingers and no Jell-O.  Control requires a full-time energy expense to keep our creation in order. We are not omnipotent so we get tired and frustrated with sticky stained fingers. By being set free of our sins we are free to operate as God created us. As we forgive others we give up control and then no longer expend energy on those whom we really do not have any real Control.

There is less freedom in having control than in not having to control.

• Forgiveness demands that we depend on God for His help. When we forgive, the other person does not always change. We are subject to be hurt again. God is our protector and we are the protected.

• As indicated in "Catalyst," we need the trials of human life to grow strong. People provide the wind, rain, drought, and clouds of life. God uses these things to cause us to depend upon Him and grow in strength. These pains will be there whether we want them or not. We must submit to what God allows and accomplishes for true happiness to exist in our lives. When you know that God can protect you under all circumstances, the pain matters far less and the joy comes from being content.

• As written by Catherine Marshall in Something More, our lack of forgiveness can stand in the way of others coming into meaningful relationships with God. We keep our options open and deny God what He claims for Himself. God, in His omnipotence waits for us to clear out and let revenge go. We, in Christ, can let others be as wrong as wrong can be and not judge. We can know that the perfect Judge will some day take care of all unrighteousness.

• Many ask, "What if the other person does not think they did anything that requires forgiveness?" Others wonder, "What if they are out of contact and they cannot extend forgiveness?" God wants us to have a heart that is set upon reconciliation. The only way we can reconcile is to forgive. When we have a heart set upon reconciling we are acting like God wants and that is pleasing to Him and sets us at peace. He will often set up circumstances where they can extend the forgiveness, sometimes by prayer with Him and others by face-to-face contact. God will be glad to take your decision to forgive to anyone who has passed on to life after death, no matter which side.

• Bitterness or Forgiveness? This is a heavy question. The truth is, you cannot have both. By learning to pray for others who have hurt you and seeking God’s will to be done in their lives, we have fulfilled His commandment to LOVE. Trust God’s heart. HE ALWAYS LOVES.

The following linked page is the best short article on healing through forgiveness that I have read to date.  If you are able to apply this short article to your life, you will see a lot of change in a positive direction.  BITTERNESS VERSUS FORGIVENESS

Copyright©  2006-2009, by R. W. Buck, Jr.
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